I Can't Decipher Reflections From Reality.

Some jokes to make your already meaningful lives more meaningful...

Power of Perception

A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, "I don’t know. It all happened so fast."

Ghostly Music

A man is walking in a graveyard when he hears the Third Symphony played backward. When it’s over, the Second Symphony starts playing, also backward, and then the First. "What’s going on?" he asks a cemetery worker. "It’s Beethoven," says the worker. "He’s decomposing."

Conflict

A ventriloquist is performing with his dummy on his lap. He’s telling a dumb-blonde joke when a young platinum-haired beauty jumps to her feet."What gives you the right to stereotype blondes that way?" she demands. "What does hair color have to do with my worth as a human being?" Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to stammer out an apology. "You keep out of this!" she yells. "I’m talking to that little jerk on your knee!"

~

How about a paradox?

Barber Paradox (Russell's Paradox)
In a village, the barber shaves everyone who does not shave himself/herself, but no one else. Who shaves the barber?

~

Sophism

What is better - eternal bliss or a simple bread?
What is better than eternal bliss? Nothing. But a slice of bread is better than nothing. So a slice of bread is better than eternal bliss.

~

Food for Thought

• 
  
  Let's say there is a bullet which can shoot through any barrier. Let's also say there is an absolutely bullet-proof armor which no object can penetrate. What will happen if such a bullet hits such an armor?

• 
  
  If the temperature this morning is 0 degrees and the Weather Channel says, "it will be twice as cold tomorrow", what will the temperature be?

• 
  
  What happens if you are in a car going the speed of light and you turn the headlights on?

Playa Cardz Right.

What I've Been Up To During The Holidays:

1. Swim. Everyday since Sunday.


2. Watch HEAPS of shows like Family Guy (15+ episodes so far), House (about 5), Desperate Housewives, reruns of Gossip Girl, KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS ==., The Nanny, Big Bang Theory (whole of Season 2), Ren and Stimpy (yeh they still have these!), and The Simpsons.


3. EAT. and I mean EAT. Have to start classes again SOON or I'll suffocate by stuffing my face every free time I get.


4. Practice my Pirouttes on fourth position because it's super rusty.


5. NOT go out at all @-@ why oh why. Except to my secondary school and our library.


6. Have crazy dreams like my Bio lecturer hitting my palm with a ruler primary-school-style for not pinning up my fringe ==.


7. Countless dreams of me dancing and entering a competition! wa-wa-wee-wa!


8. Clean my room, de-dust my soft toys, etc.


9. Eat McDonalds' cheeseburger. Ahh yes this has to enter this list because it's my first time eating their cheeseburger in my entire life!


10. Kill my laptop.

Yes, it's true. My laptop is currently a bit whacked out and I know riight, how long ago since I first got it?!? Am depressed about it and what's more, the Internet in my house crashed and I'm now sitting in my condo cafe eating their lousy fried rice in order to use their Internet service.

I love the holidays.

When You're Gone My Heart Stops Beating

One time there was this girl who wished upon a burning candle that someday her cavalier will arrive and sweep her off her feet. Her dream came true but alas, it was he who got blown away. She felt rather uncomfortable with his always-around-you manner because then it means that she didn't even get to test his sincerity to begin with. And also she didn't get a chance to know her knight first.

So one day the jealous sorceror (who secretly coveted her sexy legs and her knight- because he had a preference for species of the same sex) made a love potion and disguised it into Heaven chocolates and gave it to her, with him disguised as Thomas the Train and with the Heaven chocolates wrapped in silk satin of the highest quality. She didn't think there was anything particular about this train named THOMAS (tell me about it!) nor did she question the burning hole on the satin wrap (get it?! the chocs were so powderfully poisonous it burned a hole in the cloth) so she accepted them with open palms. Just as she was about to take a first bite, she saw the Train giggling uncontrollably, covering his mouth with his wheels.

She hesitated and sighed "I know right, I shouldn't be eating this fatty lipids-and-glycerol concoction if I ever aspire to be a size 00. Here, you take it." and she threw the bar back to Thomas. The chocolates hit him and started to sizzle upon contact with his metal body. He started to melt and Thomas was like "omfg!" but the girl was unaware of what was going on because she had turn the other way and was walking home, now determined that she did indeed like her cavalier very much. She sang Mary Had A Little Lamb by Britney Spears and squirrels came running down the trees and danced around with the snakes.

THE END.

Oh dear, I should stop taking crack.

Time Of Our Lives

Word of the Day:


Hey!! Good lunch for Physics :)


==.

I Can Almost See It; That Dream I'm Dreaming But...

You’re in my arms

And all the world is calm

The music playing on for only two

So close together

And when I’m with you

So close to feeling alive

A life goes by

Romantic dreams will stop

So I bid mine goodbye and never knew

So close was waiting, waiting here with you

And now forever I know

All that I wanted to hold you

So close

So close to reaching that famous happy end

Almost believing this was not pretend

And now you’re beside me and look how far we’ve come

So far we are so close

How could I face the faceless days

If I should lose you now?

We’re so close

To reaching that famous happy end

And almost believing this was not pretend

Let’s go on dreaming for we know we are

So close

So close

And still so far.

Gotta Keep My Head Held High.

My mom sent me an e-mail saying:

"Be weird whenever you have the chance"

As if I need to be told of that!

Hello There, The Angel From My Nightmare.

Last Saturday we went to Times Square for some serious fun at Cosmo's World. It was my first time using Public Transport, specifically the train, to get to a mall. Wow, look at me, a hypocrite ;p well I didn't exactly have a choice so I silently thank Bryan for coming all the way to this side to go to Times Square from my end. Though I'm not sure if that's his usual route but still.

Anyhoo, met up with Audrey, Jia Hui and Sherry and then I got thirsty and then we hunted high and low for a 7-Eleven so I could buy some Dutch Lady full-cream milk :D since Bryan asked sooo nicely, I decided to give him one of the milk cartons. After that they wanted to go makan so I followed. Darren surprised Audrey by turning up even though he said he couldn't make it but deep down we know he will ;) jealous-nya :P.

And then the fun started. Well, after we forked out RM37 for entrance into Cosmo's World, that is. I tell you ah, they raise the price but didn't add anything much, if at all :( super cacat. We played games that got us dizzy (and also made one of us throw up :P) and then we rode the Roller Coaster. Thankfully Jia Hui enjoyed the ride if not I have to buy her dinner XP (cuz I promised her that if at the end of the ride, she didn't want to go anymore, I'll buy her dinner). HAha, I'm glad I was at her side listening to her scream =.= hilarious :P and I don't know why I kept yawning in the Theme Park. Something is wrong with me.

Luckily we didn't get to go into the Haunted House!! wow, I bet that was my lucky day. We makan-ed dinner at 5 p.m. Steamboat. Then we played at the arcade. Which was fun :D shooting hoops was fun, air hockey was fun, dancing was fun (DUH) even though we were epic noobs and got an "F" LOL.

Thanks a kajillion to Darren who ever so kindly suggested that he can send me home despite my house being so far away. Or I would've left at 6 p.m. I owe you one if you're reading this! Or Audrey can help me tell him or whatever haha. :P P.S. seeing the both of you together gave me diabetes :D and on the way we stopped by Jia Hui's crib. Wooow, I'm gonna sleep at your house in the holidays. Watch out XP.

And then I came home feeling about RM65 poorer.

But a lot happier.

I Don't Mean No Harm; Just Wanna Rock Your World.

Try and read it if you can. It's hilarious!

Step one you say we need to talk, we talk. He said sit down it's just to talk. She smiles politely back at you, you stare politely right on through........she goes left and you stay right..........You begin to wonder why you came. Where did I go wrong; I lost a friend.... I would've stayed up with you all night, had I known how to save a life...

I've just got too much songs I have to get out of my system =/ even those that have no lyrics/classical music. My mind is a jukebox I tell you.


So excited for my Psych presentation! It's gonna knock your socks off! :D

P.S. Food For Thought:

Love on a biological point of view:

"Love is a dirty trick on us to achieve the continuation of the species" (Somerset Maugham)

=.=