One time there was this girl who wished upon a burning candle that someday her cavalier will arrive and sweep her off her feet. Her dream came true but alas, it was he who got blown away. She felt rather uncomfortable with his always-around-you manner because then it means that she didn't even get to test his sincerity to begin with. And also she didn't get a chance to know her knight first.
So one day the jealous sorceror (who secretly coveted her sexy legs and her knight- because he had a preference for species of the same sex) made a love potion and disguised it into Heaven chocolates and gave it to her, with him disguised as Thomas the Train and with the Heaven chocolates wrapped in silk satin of the highest quality. She didn't think there was anything particular about this train named THOMAS (tell me about it!) nor did she question the burning hole on the satin wrap (get it?! the chocs were so powderfully poisonous it burned a hole in the cloth) so she accepted them with open palms. Just as she was about to take a first bite, she saw the Train giggling uncontrollably, covering his mouth with his wheels.
She hesitated and sighed "I know right, I shouldn't be eating this fatty lipids-and-glycerol concoction if I ever aspire to be a size 00. Here, you take it." and she threw the bar back to Thomas. The chocolates hit him and started to sizzle upon contact with his metal body. He started to melt and Thomas was like "omfg!" but the girl was unaware of what was going on because she had turn the other way and was walking home, now determined that she did indeed like her cavalier very much. She sang Mary Had A Little Lamb by Britney Spears and squirrels came running down the trees and danced around with the snakes.
THE END.
Oh dear, I should stop taking crack.
No comments:
Post a Comment