I Can't Decipher Reflections From Reality.

Some jokes to make your already meaningful lives more meaningful...

Power of Perception

A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, "I don’t know. It all happened so fast."

Ghostly Music

A man is walking in a graveyard when he hears the Third Symphony played backward. When it’s over, the Second Symphony starts playing, also backward, and then the First. "What’s going on?" he asks a cemetery worker. "It’s Beethoven," says the worker. "He’s decomposing."

Conflict

A ventriloquist is performing with his dummy on his lap. He’s telling a dumb-blonde joke when a young platinum-haired beauty jumps to her feet."What gives you the right to stereotype blondes that way?" she demands. "What does hair color have to do with my worth as a human being?" Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to stammer out an apology. "You keep out of this!" she yells. "I’m talking to that little jerk on your knee!"

~

How about a paradox?

Barber Paradox (Russell's Paradox)
In a village, the barber shaves everyone who does not shave himself/herself, but no one else. Who shaves the barber?

~

Sophism

What is better - eternal bliss or a simple bread?
What is better than eternal bliss? Nothing. But a slice of bread is better than nothing. So a slice of bread is better than eternal bliss.

~

Food for Thought

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  Let's say there is a bullet which can shoot through any barrier. Let's also say there is an absolutely bullet-proof armor which no object can penetrate. What will happen if such a bullet hits such an armor?

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  If the temperature this morning is 0 degrees and the Weather Channel says, "it will be twice as cold tomorrow", what will the temperature be?

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  What happens if you are in a car going the speed of light and you turn the headlights on?